From church bulletins and Sunday schools everywhere.
Bulletin Bloopers Straight from the church newsletter
Youth group car wash, Saturday: "Come dirty, leave clean — body and soul."
Lost & found: "One black leather Bible, well-worn. If found, please return to the front pew — its owner clearly needs it more than ever."
This Sunday's sermon: "'What's Wrong with Your Faith?' — followed by our monthly potluck, so come hungry for answers and casserole."
Nursery volunteers needed: "Must be able to change diapers, wipe noses, and explain the Trinity to a two-year-old."
True-ish Tales The Deacon's Nap
Our deacon fell asleep during the sermon and started snoring loud enough to wake the back row. The pastor paused, smiled, and said, "We'll now have a moment of silence — apparently Brother Dale started without us." Dale woke up, said "Amen," and went right back to sleep. Nobody had the heart to tell him the sermon was about watchfulness.
True-ish Tales Sunday School Logic
The teacher asked her class, "Why do we close our eyes when we pray?" A little boy in the back raised his hand and said, "Because at my house, if we saw what was for dinner, we'd pray harder."
